2005-05-29 @ 3:28 p.m. Funny how it was suggested in my notes that I move someplace and start anew. I have been contemplating that for quite some time now.
I've made strides to do just that. Disappear from the known and move to the unknown. In the hopes of getting away from all that is my past, cutting all ties with anyone I know now. Including the remainder of my family.
But that would be nothing new for them. I've disappeared before, years at a time. Whenever I returned, it was never a big welcome home. It was more like, "you staying for dinner? If so, pick yourself up something on the way home." My family, as nonchalant about life and family values as I am.
I had to make sure that things would be okay though if I were to leave. And I think I've finally established that. Finances aren't an issue, so the next question becomes: where do I go from here?
And then I wonder if I'll gain anything from running away. Because we all know how great I am at running away. I could master in it. Disappearance, running, hiding..yes, I am the master at it.
Close my eyes and pick a spot on the map? Stay in the states? Leave the country? Let it all go, leave it all behind. I need this. I want this. I have to get away from here.
My sanity is at stake. Where should I go?
My Past with No Future