2006-11-13 @ 1:09 a.m.

It's always quiet here when she's gone. The house wakes and makes noises to me to let me know I'm not alone, yet that's all I feel. There's a cold draft coming from somewhere, but I'll be damned if I know where. The trees outside are restless tonight, as am I.

I've tried like hell for an hour to remember my password to Yahoo, to try and reach out to old friends, but it's gone now. As is the email to retrieve any passwords, so I'll have to make a new one. But being so out of touch it's hardly worth the effort, as everyone I used to speak to have all moved on.

So alone again. Searching for new music to inspire me. Something to take me to that magical place in my head where everything is beautiful and perfect. I'm at a loss though for new music. I need something new, mesmorizing, something I can get lost in for hours...

I'm forever searching for something.

A reader has me quoted as saying, "I live behind this mask, this facade which grows duller and weaker by the moment.."....amazing how this still rings true.

- - 2009-02-16
- - 2009-01-22
Money Troubles - 2008-10-31
Missing - 2008-09-27
- - 2008-05-26

My Past with No Future