Lowest of lows
2008-05-04 @ 10:55 p.m.

What I feared would happen has; I told everything (well almost, why lie now?) and I've all but killed this person I've entangled into my web of lies. Serious depression has hit, for both of us, and what once was a beautiful (if not real) relationship has turned into uneasyness, untrusting, cold and brutal. I lost myself in it all, they are lost, we're both so fucking lost we're miserable. And for some stupid reason we still hang on to each other; because even though everything we had was distroyed (a lie) we are all each other has.

Easier to leave each other? Or share in the misery? I'm hysterical every day in tears to the point where I can't breathe. It takes minutes (that seem like hours) just to control my breathing again. Followed closely by extreme chest pains that have now become a permanent part of my existance. I listened today; listened to the result of my deception and it tore me to pieces.

I deserve worse.

- - 2009-02-16
- - 2009-01-22
Money Troubles - 2008-10-31
Missing - 2008-09-27
- - 2008-05-26

My Past with No Future