2005-05-12 @ 7:25 a.m. I wonder sometimes how long people think they can lie, or keep a secret, until it is discovered? I wonder if they walk around thinking they have 'gotten away' with something? Is there true confidence in a liar? Or are they constantly worried they will be discovered?
I myself am a liar, and have always worried about the consequences. But when it comes to matters of the heart, no, I have never lied. And I'm curious what drives a liar to do such things? To manipulate one person so much that it brings tears and torment..is there guilt at all? Do they have any idea what they are doing, what they have done? To play games with someones heart and soul, to know that they are loved and cared about but manipulate anyway..for what reason I wonder?
Is it not enough to lie to my face every single day? But behind my back go and do something they would know I would never approve of? And, in fact, be hurt by?
Like I said, I am a liar. I don't want to be hypocritical here. I guess to me there are different types of liars? Is there one more evil than the next? Or is it all in general evil..and in that case, make me evil?
These things I wonder today. Because of what I have just discovered, someone close to me has, in fact, been trying to hurt me. Almost succeeded too. Quite possibly succeeded, because things remain..different. A bond has been broken, and someone who claims to care about me is the cause.
To be the bigger person and forgive? It's been given to me, forgiveness, so do I forgive others in kind? Or remain angered and revengeful, which will only lead to more pain and guilt?
Ah what a tangled web we weave...
My Past with No Future