A random poem
2005-06-20 @ 1:48 p.m.

I sit here in darkness and wonder about you
If your as real as you say you are
Or as real as I think.
The way you touch me, or say my name
In your quiet and lonely voice
It echos in my mind, haunts me through the day
I live in fear
Fear that is devoid of all color
In a state of diluded paranoia
Yet I take comfort in my corner
Where the shadows hide
And the spiders weave their games
In this orgasmic darkness
Safe from the sun
Each ray a different hell
Each glimps of its brightness kills me a little more
This wretched and ugly nepenth
That rapes my ideals
And diminishes all that was once pure
And these blistered smiles
That I thought once meant something
Are now washed away
Down the drain of my life
I dont need anymore of this diluded happiness
This teasing of memories, once joyful now bleed
Creeping through my mind, peering into every creves
Of each dream and fantasy
All worthless, now obsolete
Burned in my brain is the feeling of you...
Ah, yes, it will haunt
For I am locked in this horror house
Bound and barred, trapped within
I dont have the courage to leave
Awash with every sin
I accepted my hell with a certin pride
And as I gaze in the Caretakers eyes
I see an image of myself
The hidden self I am scared to show
That glimmer I'm afraid of
I grew cold and tired waiting here for the sun
So I took the blackness as my blanket
Protection from all devotion
This bleak and ebony depth-it comforts me
Yet chills me to my very core
And in this dark
(The tomb of my life)
I see your eyes, just a glimps
Those obsidian globes surrounded by thorns
Blood are the tips...and I know I'm not the only one
And in that one stare
I am carried off to another sky
Lifted to the portals of heaven
Then...I am sinking back down
And drowning in this gaze.

- - 2009-02-16
- - 2009-01-22
Money Troubles - 2008-10-31
Missing - 2008-09-27
- - 2008-05-26

My Past with No Future