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A random poem 2005-06-20 @ 1:48 p.m. I sit here in darkness and wonder about you If your as real as you say you are Or as real as I think. The way you touch me, or say my name In your quiet and lonely voice It echos in my mind, haunts me through the day I live in fear Fear that is devoid of all color In a state of diluded paranoia Yet I take comfort in my corner Where the shadows hide And the spiders weave their games In this orgasmic darkness Safe from the sun Each ray a different hell Each glimps of its brightness kills me a little more This wretched and ugly nepenth That rapes my ideals And diminishes all that was once pure And these blistered smiles That I thought once meant something Are now washed away Down the drain of my life I dont need anymore of this diluded happiness This teasing of memories, once joyful now bleed Creeping through my mind, peering into every creves Of each dream and fantasy All worthless, now obsolete Burned in my brain is the feeling of you... Ah, yes, it will haunt For I am locked in this horror house Bound and barred, trapped within I dont have the courage to leave Awash with every sin I accepted my hell with a certin pride And as I gaze in the Caretakers eyes I see an image of myself The hidden self I am scared to show That glimmer I'm afraid of I grew cold and tired waiting here for the sun So I took the blackness as my blanket Protection from all devotion This bleak and ebony depth-it comforts me Yet chills me to my very core And in this dark (The tomb of my life) I see your eyes, just a glimps Those obsidian globes surrounded by thorns Blood are the tips...and I know I'm not the only one And in that one stare I am carried off to another sky Lifted to the portals of heaven Then...I am sinking back down And drowning in this gaze.
- - 2009-02-16
My Past with No Future
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