What have I done?
2005-05-28 @ 6:46 a.m. I think my last entry was a bit misunderstood, as well as all things said last night.
Let me clarify by stating fact: only once have I ever attempted to take my own life. When I decided to do it, I told no one about it. And I have heard from enough people that say they will and then don't. If the moment ever comes that I do decide to do this? No one will know about it. So don't ever take my words to mean that end, because I certainly would never write about it, should that decision ever be made (which isn't anytime soon, I don't think).
Moving on, the issues surrounding the entry last night are however entirely real. It was a low evening, memories of the past and things that had happened on that date brought out the selfish poor me attitude. It's a phase, it will pass like all other phases.
We all slip sometimes and have that need for attention. I really didn't want it last night, but perhaps it was perceived that way? Regardless, I'm moving on from it, and so should everyone else.
Still awake from last night, memories once again invading my mind. I will drive them out, as I always do, and won't even go into detail as to what I'm talking about. I know, by the date alone, and that's enough.
I did do something last night that was difficult for me to do. It's a lot for me to give this place up to the one person I had thought would never come. As I have written raw emotion here, with the intention for it never to be seen. But I made this place known last night. For no real reason other than to show that I am not trying to hide. I won't let that effect my words here. I can't. I have finally found somewhere to be, and am working hard at making that a reality.
So says the self-proclaimed liar, that yes, there is some truth within these pages. Although most of it is nonsense. Nonsense ramblings that will continue to fill this space until I either figure shit out, or can't possibly spew any more shit from my fingertips.
And believe me when I say it's mostly shit. I know it. Others may know it. One definitely knows it. Others may choose to ignore it. Don't say I never told you.
My Past with No Future