2005-09-02 @ 12:32 p.m. I'm so bad at updating lately. It seems that certain someone takes up a lot of my time.
Actually, not really. I seem to be endlessly waiting for a few seconds here and there. It's difficult to talk about, because so many things I've been asked not to talk about. It's all so frustrating at times, but I will try to make the most of what I can.
The first obstacle to overcome is who she is. It shouldn't matter, really, but it always ends up being an issue. So many people around her at all times, constantly doing this and going there. Our relationship has remained somewhat a secret for understandable reasons. But just once I'd like to go out and hold her hand in public, or kiss her under a full moon. These things are just not possible right now. If ever?
I want to scream to the world her existance. Not because of who she is, but because of the way she makes me feel. I can't do that. It's almost as bad as not being in love...In fact the world already knows of her existance. It's mine they'll never know.
She knows my concerns. I don't want to remain in the shadows her entire life. My life, well I don't care about that. Never really have. But her life means the world to me, and I wish things were much simpler.
I guess emotions don't allow you to pick and choose. As complicated as things are at times, I enjoy crawling into bed next to her peach scented skin.
My Past with No Future